admyr_777

Let's face it, times have hit me really, really, HARD.  The job search has felt like nothing but a big waste of time. 

NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE ME!!!??

It's been extremely irritating, and more than angers me.  Jobs I've been wanting to apply to usually label me with a lack of experience.  Rarely do I find jobs with entry level positions available.  Even when I had two job interviews they pretty much screwed me over, wasted my time, and everything else.  When I had to job opportunities I was stuck in an awful predicament:

After I had interviewed for the good entry level job I've told people about I was offered another job about 5 days later, but there were several problems with the scenario.
Job #1 offered about 45,000 per year and would be at least for 6 months, but I would get an answer from them by Friday of the week,
Job #2 was offered on Tuesday of said week, but they wanted an answer of whether or not I wanted the job that day.  The problem with that job was that it was located in Irvine, only lasted for about 4-6 weeks, and paid on the rate of 30000 per year.  
There was also the problem of facing losing insurance benefits while I'm still covered by my parents when taking a job.

I asked job #2 for more time, but they refused to do so, and now I have no job.

What's pissing me off even more is that I can't even apply for part time jobs at local stores and restaurants - I'm too over-qualified.  They don't want to hire me because they are under the assumption that I'm only going to be temporary since I'd probably be looking for a better job anyways.

I NEED A JOB!!! ANY JOB!!!

Because now I'm left with my own problems because of the lack of job.  There are certain things I want to do, certain opportunities I want to take a chance at, and all those things cannot be done without some financial backing.

I want to take advantage of some of the good opportunities I see I might have, but I feel like those opportunities will slowly disappear.  People will change their minds, begin to see me in a much dimmer light compared to others, and then the opportunity vanishes. 
If I want to pursue my opportunities now I feel like the lack of financial backing will become my downfall because it'll become much more evident that I can't do all that might be desired without the money. 

I was hoping to take advantage of the opportunity under the ideal conditions, but I feel like I'm slowly losing that window.  

To be honest I feel like there has been a dark cloud of ill will constantly hanging over me just diverting me through the least successful route of my life, and now I'm forced to cut the whole damn forest down and make my own toll road.

WTF happened to all my luck man.

I think I need to go back to school, it seems to be the only answer at the moment.  Either way, I think if I don't anything I'll end up screwing up my chances yet again. 







Maybe I just might do something soon enough.  Let's see what happens.


Plus, FZ's suck.

Okay so apparently I've made some people look at me sad.  I can assure you all that is not the case.  If people need an explanation I plan to provide one.

So what happens to me when I have nothing better to do well sometimes some really bad memories tend to just pop up in my head, and I try to remind myself where I went wrong and what the hell could have been done better.  The previous post was sort of a means of reminding me of my mistakes; maybe I should have made it private, but what the hell anyways - right?  It's not like I'm afraid to tell some things about my personal life, but right now I've just got nothing better to do. 

Don't take it as a signs that things have gone sour for me.  It's only a reminder of sour times, and a warning of what to do to make them oh so sweet.

But in all seriousness, something happened to me recently that made me feel I was following the same path that I did within the previous post.  I just needed to get that damn thing off my chest so I can remember what my true goal is, and not get sidetracked right now.  I need to keep my mind sharp so that I don't screw myself over again.

But hey, just watch.  I am probably gonna make a cheesy comment sometime soon, and it will be the CHEESIEST thing I'll ever think I said. 

Wait, wait, wait..... BOOM, tough actin Tinactin.




I need no pity.


I refuse to be considered a pity whore.


So I say, screw that light you see me in.


And treat me like yall normally do.

Well I have a lot things that I plan to say, but I don't know how long this might be.  Anyways:

First off, this weekends trip might run into some complications, but if people are willing to take the risk it would be so much more fun.  Hopefully, no one would be turned off by this idea, but hey, that's what are adventures are, right?

Recently, someone said something to me, and, for some reason, it got me to draw again.  For those of you that don't know, I used to draw, but the things I drew were for more of people I did not know and were mostly - if not all - fetish related.  The thing is, even though I drew those pictures it's not like I was really doing it for any purpose aside from contributing to a forum I ventured to.  Problem was that I grew tired of doing requests for people that I didn't really know.  Then, for some reason, someone said something to me, and it inspired me to draw some pictures again.  I fail as an artist, but I feel that my drawings are decent.  I feel that a majority of artists are capable of simply drawing out of instinct and years of practice; they would be able to draw whatever their imagination may think of.  Unfortunately, I can't do that because I would forever need a reference picture; I am not capable of drawing whatever I might imagine.  Still, I think I have enough skill to draw at least, but not really enough to impress.  Anyways, I feel like I'll regret telling people about this stuff because of what I drew; they are pretty much a double edged sword, and right now I think it's a 75%/25% that it might hurt/help me if people actually saw them.  I don't plan on telling anyone where I posted them, but I'll say it's in exactly the same place I dumped all of my other drawings including the fetish ones from that forum.  I think I just screwed myself over with this paragraph; better than actually doing nothing.

Well, this sort of leads me to my next transition.  Certain events around me have led me to think about how others, and how I, myself, tend to screw themselves over.  First I am gonna talk about one situation I was in, and then apply it to everything about everyone:

Back in March-May '09 I sort of had a crush on this girl I know.  I tried to be friendly with her, hang out with her, and even do her really big favors anytime she asked.  Never really too invasive, and just slowly trying to inch towards a nice little fling, maybe.  We went to parties, I dragged her home when she got too drunk, and sometimes we even partook in some illegal activities. Together I had supported her, and, on some occasions, she tried to help me out in certain scenarios, but never really did much.  Plus, back then I was still a little naive with how "girls like her" interact.  Essentially, I had that that the things she had told me were possibly "signals" saying that I might have the chance.  Well, what had happened was that one really drunken night I had said a few things that basically revealed that I had liked her, and she had knew that I was a heavy-weight drinker so she took my words very seriously.  She then totally refused to acknowledge my presence for like 5 months, and things were pretty awkward, but it's also due to the fact that beforehand we were pretty close friends for about 2 years before this thus further contributing to the awkwardness.  Anyways, the immediate reaction was that she refused to acknowledge I was even in the same room, and for the first month she blocked me off AIM whenever I logged on.  I obviously got the hint, but it's not that I wanted to pursue, but more that I wanted to apologize.  She then eventually realized that I was not going to intervene in her life for a while so she never really blocked me off AIM after that first month, but she was essentially on the other side of the world for the summer so it didn't really matter for seeing each other face to face.
Well, come the beginning of school when she came back things were a bit awkward between us still.  She refused to acknowledge me, and I sort of just tried to avoid anything that might make a scene.  Honestly, I kept in contact with her best friend still trying to make amends through her, and, even though I may have sounded troublesome, I thank her for putting up with me.  Anyways, after the first week, her friend and my frat bro set up a situation where we could make amends, which we ended up doing.  So yeah, now we are close friends, but nothing more. 
The situation that led up to this entire problem was that there was a mix-up in the signals.  She had treated me in a certain way, and had led me to believe that she trusted me, and might be willing to pursue more than just a friendship, but I guess I was wrong.  I don't know, maybe I had just read into too many things that she did with me.  There were even certain things where she was like "let's go see this movie" or "maybe you could take me and (other friend) to your fraternity formal" where I was thinking maybe this really might lead to something.  In the end, when we were making our amends the reason she gave for not wanting to be with me was because "I was weird."  I don't know what part of me led her to believe that whether it be that I'm interested in anime and all related topics or what not, but I felt that it wasn't fair to send those signals to keep me guessing and me ending up always supporting her.

Nowadays, I do my best to see things in a different light.  One of my primary goals when I go out with friends and what is to have fun.  I treat every opportunity to get with a girl just as that - an opportunity. 

I feel like my problem is that I cannot recognize opportunity.  After my experiences with that girl I find it harder to realize when I might have a chance with a girl that I would like to be with.  The situation I had experienced several months ago makes me call into question a lot of opportunities I might have, or might have had.  It constantly makes me think some girls are simply being nice to me for the sake of being nice and friendly.  The question is whether or not to take the risk of asking; success means that I would snag an actual date, and failure means facing some degree of awkwardness.  The worst possibly thing is probably not even trying.

What's even harder is the next step.  How to make a good date.

Anyways, what I have ended up seeing is that any relationship can be pretty much comparable to the stock market.  Like a successful business start-up, a successful relationship start - I feel - involves the following:
1) People capable of successfully talking to spark investor interest
2) A marketable image
3) A marketable portfolio of different fields of business (i.e. interests)

Each investor may have a different taste of what he/she wants to invest in, but these are what I feel are the bare ideals of any successful fling.

It's just like human nature to follow the law of supply and demand.

I think I just set my own fate with this post.  I'm gonna self-destruct in the corner now.------------------------->                  o-I-<     =>    :>*+*<:


 


W

So I did some of the calculations for the Ayase Di-Sword and based on the pictures I could find.  Believe me, it's really hard to find a picture that accurately portrays the sword in three-dimensions in the show, and some online.  Come on, she rarely is seen with the full sword in hand and she only holds it one way - it's never fully rotated.  Anyways, I did my proportional analysis on the sword and this is what I came up with for the supplies needed based on the calculations:

Proportion Calculations:
Height: 5'6" - 5'7"
Length of Sword from Tip to hilt: 72.15" (About 6 ft.)

Supplies Needed:
USC Bookstore
(2) 5'x5' paper-covered foam boards that are about 1/4" thick [$5-$10 Each, I think]

Vermont Hardware and Supply Store (On Vermont and 32nd, Next to AutoZone)
(3) 12'x1' Rolls of Aluminum Flashing [$6.99 each] {MUST MAKE SURE DIMENSIONS ARE RIGHT OR ELSE IT'S HARDER FOR ME}
(4-5) Tubes of "Amazing Goop: Household Version" (It is the Violet Red Tubes of Glue) [$4-$5 Each]
(2) Tubes of "Liquid Nails: Small Projects" (Brown With White Lining and a Red Section Indicating the Type) [$2-$3 Each]
{NOTE: Can't seem to find the Aluminum Flashing at HOME DEPOT, but they sell some of the glue at a cheaper price}

At Craft Stores and Things I Don't Know Where to Find
(1) 2'x2' (or bigger) piece of Craft Foam - Its Like a firm foam but flexible like paper.[Price ?]

Things That Might Need to Be Restocked
Miscellaneous Spray Paints (Most can only be found at the "Vermont Hardware and Supply Store" - $Range => $4-$7)


Well this is simply an estimate of the prices and the supplies needed.  The thing is more or less supplies are usually the case in this kind of a project, but this is for those that wanted to fund me to make the Di-Sword come ALA.  Yes, I know this is expensive, but it cost me way more to make the previous swords - like around $200 total.  Mind you some of the costs came from construction equipment that I did not have beforehand.  If anything, the building supplies cost about $120 altogether for both swords. 

The estimated time of completion may range between 3 weeks to 2.5 months due to certain circumstances that prevent me from finishing it faster. 

This brings me to my next point - the reason the Di-Sword might take so long now is that I might be getting a job soon!! :)
Nothing is guaranteed, but I do have an interview IN PERSON at the company coming up real soon.  Kinda excited, kinda nervous, but it's better than having nothing lined up.  We'll see what happens.  Don't really want to reveal too much or get too excited is all, but might ask a few of you that have helped me thus far for some pointers in a day or two.

Anyways, 10-11 Days before some folks and I get lost like those kids in the Blair Witch Project

Well I guess school has started for some of you, and yet you've probably still seen me on campus.  Yeah, it's not for the supreme amounts of free food, but I'm being forced to work for my frat because it's rush week.  Many of you will probably catch me at the activities fair this coming Wednesday.  Well, if anything to support the good ol club's booth I guess I can bring the butterfly wing blades or something; maybe.  

The job hunt is a bit demoralizing.  The only job offer I got so far is from a medical software company located in Wisconsin.  I'm kinda getting lazy with the process of reformatting, posting, and waiting for no response to my resume.  Seriously if anyone can recommend a particular job to look at just throw it out ASAP.  Oh and thanks Yoshi for reviewing my resume.  Still wondering from various responses from various people whether or not it's worth continuing trying to write cover letter though.

Something bad happened to me last night.  I had a panic attack for some reason.  For those that don't know what it's like it felt like an onrush of bad thoughts that make every uncomfortable muscle tighten and then difficulty breathing.  Who knows why I had it.  Well that's what sorta happened at like 2AM last night anyways.  

 

I'll be planning that damn midnight hike soon,once I get the directions.  All I know so far is that you have to take the 5 north to the 2 east and the exit is the "mystery".  Hopefully, I'll find it soon.  Also, hoping that people are willing to go aside from those that already want to go.  It'll be sooner, if not later.

Anyways, I'm still trying to make the One Piece skit to "I'm on a Boat" from that SNL skit.  I'll post that soon enough

I guess I'll still attend meetings to see the old friends and new blood.

Call me if you need me.

(For those who cannot distinguish behind my speech and writing well you'd have to take it in all like one big simile [or metaphor, I don't know] in order to find the true meaning.]

I'm simply tired of the way things are going for me.  Everything I try and do all seem to amount to nothing positive anyways, and if I continue along this path I fear that nothing will ever shape for me the way I want it to become. 

I think a lot of what I have to say stems from going to the BBQ this weekend.  I'm not saying the bbq was bad - in fact it was pretty good - but I'm just saying I myself could not enjoy it to the fullest.  People were all having fun and a good time and enjoying the festivities, but there were long moments in the day I couldn't really fully enjoy even if it looked like I was having a good time.  I fear that there is this sense that nothing changes for the better between anyone; most the time it seems to either stay stagnant or get worse. 

I feel like there is something about me that I need to change.  Change of scenery?  Change of attitude?  Change of lifestyle?  I honestly don't know, but all I know is a lot of this stagnation, a lot of the "indecisive" aura I see and feel.  I guess I'm tired of it, I'm tired of having go through the motions of the same circumstances day after day and week after week.  

So what does change imply?

What I need is the willingness to take greater risks that I have yet to take.  I need to find that one leap of faith to complete that one thing that I've been missing for such a long time.  Maybe, maybe not.  Some say you need to be as mad as a hatter to get what I'm getting at..  But honestly, who of you that are reading this would really seem to care, and what is more intriguing is why?  Remember this is simply a journal, and escaping the fourth wall seems to be done a lot at the end of this entry. 

Hell, why am I even doing this.  SImply putting this up slowly destroys credibility.  Maybe I'm just being stupid; maybe I just got to get it off my chest.  Maybe I just need to disappear for a while to gain a new perspective. 

U tuoba syas taht tahw dna RU ohw tuoba tol a yas lliw  taht niaga neht tub ,uoy llet tsuj thgim I rewsna eht tnaw uoy fI

Honestly, why would anyone take and interest anyways?  Some may have noticed that about me and how I analyze people, but that's so I can better assess a person for who they are, what they aim for, and the motives that drive them to happiness or success.  Maybe that's too creepy, but it sort of help when I can tell what makes someone happy.  I don't know.  All I can think of is that I over analyze.

People are like books.  Unfortunately, I read them like poems.  If you know what that means then that's better than thinking something else.

Anyways, make this post of what you will.  I need to learn the art of _____________.  It's the only thing that'll make things right for me, and maybe for other(s) as well.

The job hunt these past two months have been unsuccessful for the most part.  I think I need to learn more about making an effective resume and cover letter because apparently I did them poorly (according to careerbuilder.com).  My mom's boss wants me to apply to his grad school so if I can't find a job in the 1.5 months I guess I'm focusing on school....again.  : [

Moving stuff back on Monday and I'm gonna crack house it till thursday at my apartment.  For those who don't know what that means it means all I'll have is a blanket, pillow, tv, laptop, and cable and internet supplies in my apartment. 

Honestly I don't know what's going to happen after I move back.  I need to make money some how, and I don't really have any.  I might bum around campus during the day time, but that's all I can really do.    I'll be FUBAR in a month; funny side note in FFXII there is a flan monster named Foobar.


Couple of things I've been itching to do recently:

August 1 the Robot Chicken Creators are hosting a nation wide roller skating event that's free and it'll be in LA (somewher).  Kinda wanted to check it out. 

I wanted to go back to the "enchanted forest".  It's supposedly a trail that leads to a supposedly haunted house on top of a mountain.  It's about a 90 minute hike in the mountain trail at night (like 12 am); last time I went we had to turn back early because people that tagged along weren't properly equipped or in the sober state of mind.  Really want to make it to the cabin this time.



Lately I've been wanting to be around more people since I'm stuck at home all the time, but nobody has the time, want to put in the effort to say "sure", plus I don't have much money.  Thus, I've developed some mild dementia throughout each day.  Then I start coming up with crackpot reasons as to why nobody seems to be listening in or why I can't seem to get a job.  Then it makes me wonder if people are just nice to me in public for the sake of keeping up the "public appearance", but would rather be somewhere else talking to someone else and wasting essentially my time and their own time.  Then I wonder if the different kinds of people I hang out with and their influence on me affects how I fit in with each other.  I'm too otakuish for one to be taken seriously, too mainstream hip that I scare away the other?  Maybe I'm just my own worst critic, but a lot of the things I do I feel aren't the best and most people have done better than me.  Hell if you were there for the Gong Show I honestly thought that the Pedo bear was going to win over me, and I already felt that the Crazy Crazy Rainbow Star Cosplay group had already beat me (well I knew Val was gonna win).  My self-esteem sucks I guess, which is probably why it's not helping with other aspects requiring confidence.  This dementia isn't helping either. 

SOmtimes I wish someone really could understand me, even if my face (apparently) looks like I'm angry all the time. 

What do you xpect from the crazy lunatic. 

I'm not grumpy.

I'm just stern in certain situations

but awkward in very many

that is why problems arise.

So I finally finished everything I needed to do for Chaos;Head with the swords and all so here are some pics :







As you can see, I'm quite tired from the effort of these things so we'll figure things out.

Need to make a black staff

Need to create my Spiderman Outfit.

Probably cannot start until Sunday.  The reason for the delay is because something is happening this weekend requiring me.  If you don't know what it is well then what does that say about you?

On another note; still looking for people that would like to get a meal on Sunday or something.  Any takers?

Well there are a few things that I have been working on and some that I have finished and are ready for use.

Things that are ready:
Patch is pretty much complete.  All I really want to do is reinforce the inside of the head so that the head is stable and not resting on my shoulders or anything.  If anyone wants a picture of the head I can do that, but the whole body might need some egging on. 

The Chaos;Head Sword for Sena is awesome and awaiting use.  Hopefully, it will be used, if the "green dinosaur can hatch the egg."  I'd be kinda let down if it does not come to fruition, but hopefully that doesn't happen.

I'm bringing back the Ox Ford cosplay from Soul Eater.  It may not seem like much, but a lot of people dig the shaved head.



Things that are being made:
I'm working on making the outfit for the Spiderman Music Video by DJ Ozma.  I really need some velcro for this so if anyone has any I is willing to offer, or if someone can point me in the direction of cheap amounts of it that would be great.

I'm also working on the Double Wing Blade swords for Rimi from Chaos;Head.  Structurally they are done, but they still need a paint job.  I know these will probably be put to good use.





Hopefully, this will all be done before the incapacitation weekend roles around for me.  If people want to get dinner on the 28th give me a call or something.

So I finally finished the sword for Sena in Chaos;Head, and boy does it look awesome.  It is a little wobbled in one of the blades, but so long as nobody applies too much force, or holds it incorrectly, it won't break.  It is DEFINiTELY HEAVY so whoever holds it is going to have to break a mental sweat and maybe a real one.

Here are some of the pics that I could take with my shitty laptop camera so sorry for the bad quality, but its all I have:
















This alone proves one thing that I heard from one of the wisest men I have learned from...

MATT LAUER CAN SUCK IT!!






Anyways, I got a couple other things I've been working on like the Kaiba cosplay, and the Spida MAN thing.  I will try and fit in the other Chaos;Head weapon in if I have the time and money, but I can't make any promises so hold tight.



...MATT LAUER CAN SUCK IT!!!

For some reason I couldn't sleep last night.  It might have been the four burger patties I cooked and ate, it could have been that I was way too excited to continue my work.  I simply have this maniac urge to finish the sword.

It's been taunting me and teasing me, and quite frankly it's slowly sucking my soul.  It's nearly done and I don't want to stop, but there is no light to spray paint properly.  Slowly, but assuredly, it is gaining the identity.

Sometimes I think the sword is like that Japanese mythology that believes the objects inherit souls or something (which is probably how Soul Eater started).  It wants to kill me in any and all ways

Fair warning, this thing is fucking heavy by holding it by the hilt. 

HAHA it looks so damn good. 

Hopefully, I'll be able to continue the other double butterfly wing blades in time for AX, but if I can't I can improvise with the pikes.  Sorry in advance if I'm unable to.

Anyways the sword is supposed to look like this

Well so far I've been working on a couple of things lately...

First of all, the Chaos;Head sword I've been forever making has come to an abrupt halt.  The glue I used on it is not drying fast enough or properly on the hilt, which is the most complicated part of this thing above all.  The hilt needs to be sturdy enough to be held and not bend.  I think I might have to use epoxy, which is a pain in the ass because that stuff is just too toxic to use.  I might try another idea I have before resorting to that because epoxy is the worst case scenario, but the most full proof plan.

Second, working on the Kaiba cosplay.  I was trying to keep it a secret until AX, but I guess Yan thought it would be funny to post the pics right away.  As you may know I am doing Patch; tried sewing but so far I am just naturally bad at it.  Thankfully, Yan is there for help - thanks so much.  As for the head I had already constructed it out of cardboard and all I really need to do is make the sock for the head.  Talk about having to make one for a spherical foot.


As for other props in the making, I'll see if I have time to squeeze in one more before AX for someone else.  Hopefully I can manage. 

Many of you may not have realized, but Sam Raimi used to be a horror movie director.  When I heard he had directed the new release "Drag Me to Hell" I knew it was a must see.  Many of you may know Raimi for his directing skills in the Spiderman movies, but before that he had also developed the awesome Evil Dead trilogy in his early days.

For those who don't know "Evil Dead" its about a couple of college students that find the research of their professor from Michigan University on the "Book of the Dead."  When the students accidentally recite the inscriptions they essentially summon dead spirits, which constantly torture them until death.  Fortunately, the protagonist of all three films is stubborn enough to survive it all in the crazy and insane things that do happen to him (one of which his right hand gets possessed, he cuts it off, and then replaces his hand with a chainsaw).  What makes Raimi's horror films so great is that he directs in a way to implement dark comedy into his horror, so while there are jumpy and frightening moments some scenes are just too ridiculous to be taken serious in the horrific sense.  Raimi even incorporates revolutionary camera movements (at the time) to make scenes even more dramatic. This all helps the audience enjoy the film even more.  Still, it is quite possibly one of the bloodiest and gruesome series of movies, and probably the only American movie where you find a tree violating a woman with its branch/tentacles.

Raimi keeps the same formula (minus the tree rape) with his newest horror film "Drag Me to Hell."  The movie is filled with unpredicatable shocks, ridiculously disgusting scenes, and even an anvil scenario one would find in a Looney Tunes cartoon that resulted in disgusting things.  It is that mix of sudden shock and utterly disgusting imagery that makes this film so awesome.  Raimi also stays true to his endings that results in the idea that the protagonists may have won the battle, but ultimately loses.  So glad Raimi took some time to make this horror movie because he still stays true to his beginnings.

Anyways, if they happen to somehow make a sequel to this I hope they only make one because Raimi has this horrible knack for sucking on the third movie in any of his sequels.  Prime examples include Army of Darkness (Evil Dead 3), and Spiderman 3.  Though both are adorn by fans they lack in the plot devices that made the previous films of the series great; it's kind of Raimi's "Achilles heel."  Army of Darkness was flawed in that it totally revolved around slapstick humor and refused to stay true to the horror of the previous films.  In my perspective, Spiderman 3 was not as great in that it placed too many characters in the film to properly provide enough time to analyze the character development of the protagonists and antagonists, and the introduction of Harry getting amnesia just wasted more time that could have been used for the much needed character development.  Anyways, Raimi just can't do three films of a series, but this trend makes me think Spiderman 4 will be awesome.

Anyways, for anyone that likes horror movies I strongly suggest watching this movie as well as the Evil Dead franchise (if you can somehow find the first two films since they are so rare).  If you can endure the grotesque nature of gore then get a watching.

 Just got back from Fanime and it was quite different from what I expected.  There were some things of the con that I liked and some things I did not like.

Things I liked:
I liked how the convention integrated a lot of attendeee participation.  Not only do panels become more like personal tutors, but even events like "Stage Zero" were pretty fun just hanging around.  Had numerous chances to win the private party with the main guest, but I didn't really know who she was or cared for that matter.  Besides most of the people that got invites were preteen girls, which would have made for an awkward scenario.  Anyways, it all made the con a little more easy to enjoy.

Things I hated:
This con really attracted the most annoying people in the entire society of anime enthusiasts.  I really don't like it when people just yell out random comments during informative panels, which was somewhat inappropriate.  I mean I didn't mind random comments in panels and events that were comical, but for something that I would rather not have any interruptions for was quite a nuisance.

Anyways, I'm making preparations for AX, and if anyone knows me I'm a prop maker.  If anyone want to cosplay Tokine from Kekkaishi or Sena from Chaos;Head leave a message or something because I made the spear for Tokine and I'm currently making the sword for Sena (70% complete).  I'd hate for them to go to waste, and I'm too critical about them to want to sell them even though people might consider the quality good enough to sell.  Hell if I have time I might even make the dual sword boomerang wings for the other Chaos;Head girl.


Well, I still have a lot of work for my own cosplay ideas.  Hopefully, someone will help me sew because I suck at it.  

If anyone knows of what I did at Fanime then the SPIDERMAN comethe to AX

Well I was a bit frustrated yesterday.  I had a test that I didn't know about until that morning so that was just grand.  To top it off, the people that annoy me the most completely dragged my hopes for peace of mind into the depths of what any can best describe as a personal browbeat.  To best describe how I felt at dinner I was about to throw my skateboard at them or punch one of them in the face.  At least it's done an over with for now.

Lately, I've been trying to make a sword just because someone brought it up in the club, and I'm always up for the challenge.  It's one of those swords from "Chaos;Head" so it's gonna be difficult to make since it's intricately designed for no aesthetic reason other than to look good.  So far I'm almost done constructing the skeleton of the blade, which means I still got to put all the little detailed designs of the sword on it.  Right now I'm trying to develop the base, but it's harder than one think it might be.

This entire year so far has been somewhat of a downer.  I haven't been able to accomplish my goals, which is a big problem for me because I'm graduating.  This might turn into something I might regret because I simply won't be able to see the people I've come to befriend over the past 4 years since I'm probably going to be in full-work-mode after college.  The only reason I wouldn't be able to see these friends again is because I have not developed a "link" to someone that would make me want to come back.  It may just be me, but a lot of people have made me feel unwanted or a forgettable piece of background.  Not a lot of people have acknowledged the accomplishments I've completed, which makes me kinda sad since I feel so underrated.

I know this is my first post, and I was really hoping it was going to be a good one, but now I just really need to vent because it was not cool at all.

If most of you know me, I am in a fraternity.  Today I was bragging about this person that started facebook stalking me out of the blue, and some of the bros wanted to check her out.  Thus, I let them use my laptop and gave them access to my facebook profile.  The problem is one of the bros had a knack for playing pranks on me, and so what he did was change my facebook status to say "...is coming out."  THIS WAS A SICK JOKE!!!

We had to have an intervention, and it came to the conclusion that he wasn't thinking about the consequences of his actions even though it was a joke.  Yes, I know it was a joke, but jokes are meant to be kept between the people that are in on them.  I explained to him that by doing that prank he was pretty much was claiming to everyone I know that I was "not straight."  I was super mad

Fortunately things were worked out, and hopefully things will get back on track